Friday, July 17, 2009

Blogging about blogging

I've been on this thing called the internet since Feb of 1995. 1995 I say? Yeah. Back when AOL was a paid by the minute (IIRC) service and I even broke a pinky toe once because I need to use the potty! That involved fun chatroom shenanigans, Molson Ice and the fact the bathroom was on the other side of the house.

My internet travels have been pretty extensive and have seen so much on the internet nothing surprises me anymore.

So along comes services like Live Journal, long before "blog" was a mainstream word. I've had some kind of Live Journal since 2000 but didn't start actively using it until after 9-11. Now, Live Journal (and a couple of other similar sites) were pretty ground breaking because of the types of things people would post for the world (or chosen friends) to see. For me, my Live Journal is just like a diary that I share with chosen people and it's a place where I do feel safe and have friends who I feel loyal to though I've only met a handful in person.

Since those early days, journaling and blogging have become a way for people to bring in income. Some are very successful at it too. But what is a blog but words, should it be focused to keep people coming back? This is something I am struggling with since I started this particular blog. I started it as an addition to my Live Journal so I could keep the angst sheltered among trusted company but to document the changes I am currently going through in all facets of my life in a more public arena. But, I am in a very unique group of people so many of my thoughts and words don't appeal to many.

For example, I am not a mom. Many of the blogs I read every morning are moms so I skip on through anything related to children and decorating kids' rooms. I have nothing against kids and in fact I love kids but I know I would be a horrible mom. This was a decision (to not have kids) that I concluded when I was around 16 years old.

I'm not a wife. I was going to be one at a very young age (at 18) and for some reason since that time, I just have never felt a connection but one other man in those many years. He didn't feel the same way.

I'm going to be 41 next month (oh, that hurts to write, 41?) so I don't have the wonders of my younger adulthood to write about. Had I had a blog back then, oh the interesting things I could have posted. I'm not saying my life is over, it's just different, tame might be a good word.

I'm severely under employed as a self-employed person and when I do find a part-time job, it's not going to be anything (I am sure) that a wide audience would enjoy unless unless I am able to get a job dealing with home improvement, construction or the like because I love that stuff.

So what is this blog about? I don't know. I don't know about you but I don't know any other 40somethings, never married, no kids and seriously under-employed. I mean, how can that be remotely interesting?

I lost a lot of self during the years I spent drinking my troubles and boredom away. I'd always been the type of person that could be alone (since I was a little kid) but the isolation through drinking really stunted me as a person that sought things other than alcohol to make my life interesting. I still have those interests (photography is a major one - mostly buildings and scenery) but I also feel stunted because of my low income levels.

Well okay then. I've deduced that I am a small fraction of one percent of the people in the world like me. In older times I would be considered a "spinster", which incidentally, is born from yarn, which I enjoy. I'm unique, that's for sure. Not sure how this blog will evolve, how it will appeal to others or if it will ever have focus; I am ADD after all and in the world of an ADDult focus is hard.

Other than that, it's Friday morning, cat woke me up too early and I should have a plan for the day figured out soon.

I will end this post with a pic of my Jake chewing on a "chewy":

Good morning!

EDIT: PS For some reason this blog's time stamping is way off. I post Mountain time, have an atomic clock and it's about 50 minutes behind the actual time I post. Settings are correct on my end and it bugs me.

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